NZFF

Way off topic .... but i need to get it off my chest.

What do you do ??? My younger brother .... good guy, but living on another planet.
He has had his power cut off twice in the past 12 months, i paid both times for the reconnect , his phone has gone , and now his car ( no reg or wof for over a year) has shat it self ..... so he says.(i think he got caught ) but anyway

The guilt thing kicks in .... i have 4 cars( dont ask) in my name , 2 are up and running , 2 need work.
Do i offer him one of the runners , at a fixed weekly price or let him sort it out himself ?

He's not on drugs .... just an idiot with money.

Really hurts me to see him in this situation , but he did it , i dont want to bother the olds with it, in their 80's they dont need it.

Bloody hard call ..... but he seems to think someone will bail him out .... again, and Im not sure if i can.... again.

Sorry to dump this on you , and i will understand if there is no response ... but Ive had enough .

Think few best words are and been recently said , old enough to no how life works ... walk away and STOP HELPING

as hard as it may seem but he is a big boy and must learn to look after himself

It is very annoying that normal rules don't really apply to family. People might say that enough is enough (and they have here) but only you will know what's best. Everyone has problems at some stage, and there are a million reasons why someone might need help. That's what family is for.

I've been on both ends of that sort of situation. No advice, that's a family thing, but here's my experience on the wrong end of it : every time you get bailed out it teaches you that's it's ok to let things go that far because somehow it will all work out. You don't start to learn not to let things go that far until the time things DON'T work out and that's not when you learn it, it's when you start to learn it. It takes a few lessons for it to sink in, it has some powerful habits to knock down.

Actually I will give some advice - think about it for a while before you decide what to do. The longer you take to do something (as Rob said you're going to do something, you know it, we know it, he knows it, he's family...) the longer he has to appreciate the mess and not want to be in it. And good luck.

You can LEND someone your set of screwdrivers, your bicycle, your wife, ....even your trusty Lawn Mower....

..but NEVER lend folks money!

Paul.... ....!

I also have first-hand experience with this kind of stuff, although with a slight difference....it was my mother. She was a mess, with an attitude of a 15yo.... It was VERY hard to be tough to her...(my wife helped a lot with that ) Initially she got offended and tried some emotional blackmailing -AS EXPECTED- I ignored it (that was hard, too). Now, she's traveling the world alone at 50, and has no issues whatsoever, all bills paid, etc. We've got closer than ever before. It's worth it. If you're through the first emotional storm it gets easier....


Dan

PS: Wow, show me another forum where people can discuss things like this without being trolled on... This is a real grown-up place I Like!

Thanks very much for the input guys ..... great advice.
I'll get it sorted ...... and so will he.

@Dan .... i agree with your P.S ...... great place.